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Affluent Christian Investor | October 22, 2017

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7 Self Tests to See if Ego is Hurting Your Leadership Ability


Last week, I addressed the issue of the end of self as the true beginning of self. Most people are familiar with Jesus’ words that pertain to picking up a cross and following Him. My point last week was that the cross isn’t the end of your personality; it is where it begins. The cross enables you to come into contact with so you can develop your personality as God intended it to be.

The problem is that we are so steeped in the self-willed self life that it is almost impossible to let go. This is highlighted by Paul’s words in Philippians 2:19-23 when he described his assistant Timothy:

I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare. For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel. I hope, therefore, to send him as soon as I see how things go with me.

Can you imagine? Of all the great men with whom Paul traveled, he had no one like Timothy. Timothy had reached an end of self to such an extent that he could be genuinely interested in the welfare of others and not his own. If Paul only saw one such man in his life, how many will you and I see? Perhaps the better question is: Can you become the one Timothy that other people encounter? More on that later.

I have been thinking this past week on the examples I could give of people who have not come to the end of self because they have not truly picked up their cross. Here are some thoughts:

  1. If you have no experience in an area, but offer your uneducated opinion, and then are offended when people don’t follow or listen to you, you have not come to an end of self.
  2. If you cannot accept advice, and insist on doing things yourself or in your own way, even when you don’t have the expertise, you have not come to an end of self.
  3. If you refuse to change your habits, like how or where you work, or stubbornly resist adopting new technology or work habits, you have not come to an end of self.
  4. If you have consistently had no results in an area of life, work, or ministry, but cling to the ways you have always done it (and get upset when someone speaks into your dysfunction), you have not come to an end of self.
  5. If you believe you are entitled to your opinion (which you are), but that opinion is special simply because it’s yours, you have not come to an end of self.
  6. If you ignore the input of someone who has walked a path before you, especially when that person has no vested interest except to see you succeed, you have not come to an end of self.
  7. If you have failed in an area, but still want to be the one to give advice or direction instead of listening and learning, you have not come to an end of self.

I see these dynamics at work in my consulting and teaching all the time. What’s more, I have seen them all operate in my own life, past and present, and I am always confronting where I am more interested in serving my own image of who I want to be (or seem to be) as opposed to who others and God need me to be. To the extent that I have come to an end of self, I have been able to embrace my true self and it has been liberating. I invite you to join me, so that together we can form an army of people like Timothy who can selflessly serve others through our true selves. Have a blessed week!


Originally published on the Monday Memo with John Stanko.

John Stanko was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and attended Duquesne University where he received his bachelor’s and master’s degrees in economics in 1972 and 1974 respectively.

Since then, John has served as an administrator, teacher, consultant, author, and pastor in his professional career. He holds a second master’s degree in pastoral ministries, and earned his Doctor of Ministry from Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary in Pittsburgh in 2011.

John founded a personal and leadership development company, called PurposeQuest, in 2001 and today travels the world to speak, consult and inspire leaders and people everywhere. From 2001-2008, he spent six months a year in Africa and still enjoys visiting and working on that continent, while teaching for Geneva College’s Masters of Organizational Leadership and the Center for Urban Biblical Ministry in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Most recently, John founded Urban Press, a publishing service designed to tell stories of the city, from the city and to the city.


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